Befriending Stress

We often see stress as our enemy, but what if we could hit ‘Add Friend’ and turn things around? It's not as simple as a single click on social media though. It requires a mindset shift.

Let's see how.

In her book, The Stress Prescription, Elissa Epel, provides an excellent analogy to understand how different minds perceive stress in the same situation and how we can use smarter ways to cope with stress.

Imagine a lion chasing a gazelle across the African savannah. Both the lion and the gazelle are under stress, but they perceive it differently.

The gazelle, terrified, flees in fight-or-flight mode, running in distress, while the lion relishes the challenge, excited and anticipating the fruits of its labor.

Thankfully, we don't need to worry about lions in our daily lives. But our everyday stress can take a heavy toll. Sometimes, the constant pressure we face can make us feel like the gazelle, frantically trying to escape one problem, only to face another the next day.

Chronic stress may not be a matter of life and death in the same way, but it can contribute to a slower, metaphorical death — a life lived constantly on edge, mentally and emotionally worn thin.

In his book Outlive, Dr. Peter Attia, a renowned longevity expert, delves into not only the science of prolonging life but also prolonging "aliveness."

So, how can we stop living like a gazelle on the run and start living like a lion — full of life and relishing challenges?

This change in mindset can alter our biological responses to stress. If you're feeling alive, your reactions to stress will differ from when you're feeling defeated or overwhelmed. Viewing problems as challenges makes us more optimistic about finding solutions and more capable of coming up with creative ideas — all potent tools to combat stress.

So, how can we switch places with the lion?

Here’s a 3A's model to facilitate this mindset change:

Accept

Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows 🌈. Some days bring gentle drizzles of mild stress, others usher in stormy downpours of intense stress.

But stress is going to be there. Each day. Accept it.

Once we accept it, our mind expects it.

Rather than being taken aback, we brace ourselves for the inevitable. Our mind is less shocked and more prepared to face each day's unique climate.

Acknowledge

Ignoring stress or downplaying its importance only exacerbates the problem. It's essential to acknowledge your stress.

Say it out loud, "I’m stressed about ______." Acknowledging it helps your mind register it, priming it to shift into solution mode.

Act

Before you start thinking about solutions, differentiate between what you can control and what you can't.

For example, if you're stressed about an impending deadline at work, you might not be able to change the deadline itself (something you can't control), but you can manage your time and resources effectively to meet it (something you can control).

Focus on what you can control. List the top three actions that will have the most significant impact on resolving the stress. Keep the list action-driven and achievable within the hour. Choose the most important of the three and get on it.

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We can't eliminate stress from our lives, but we can change how we handle it. Let's strive to be more like the lion, viewing stress not as a threat, but as a challenge to conquer.