Connoisseur of mistakes
Hello there, lovely reader! 🌟 In today's edition, we're diving into a surprising method to sharpen our thinking and embrace lifelong learning. Enjoy the read! ❤️
To err is human. We can’t avoid making mistakes, but we can choose whether they become good mistakes or bad ones. You can't exactly plan it—no one wakes up and says, "Today, I’m going to make a good mistake." What truly matters is what you do after the mistake happens. How you respond is what turns it into a valuable lesson or a missed opportunity.
Do you acknowledge it or do you hide it?
Sometimes, it’s a good idea to hide your mistakes from others. If you’re performing a play on stage and forget your next line, you quickly come up with words that keep the play flowing smoothly.
But never ever is it a good idea to hide your mistakes from yourself.
If you fail to reflect on your mistakes, you’ll keep making the same ones time and again. And next time, you might be unable to conjure a quick dialogue to save the day.
“Learn from your mistakes” is more than just a mantra, it’s a necessity. We say it constantly to our children as parents and teachers. As bosses, we remind our teams of it regularly.
But do you truly, from the bottom of your heart, readily own up to a mistake? My default reaction is to blame someone else.
It’s not my fault
Late to work? My kids insisted on watching a late-night movie. Article not ready yet? My Mac is acting up. Lasagne not ready yet? Oh, the oven is slow.
Children are no different. They come up with “My dog ate my homework” kind of excuses all the time.
It’s as if the idea of “I’m not the one to be blamed” is hard-wired into our brains.
We say in classrooms and boardrooms that it’s okay to make mistakes. But secretly, we desire that we should never be the one to make a mistake. Even though making mistakes is the fastest and probably the only way to learn anything.
If you don’t play any wrong notes, how will you learn to play the right ones? If you don’t write poorly at first, how will you refine it into something great? If you never fumble, how will you perfect your skills? If you never screw up a dish with the wrong ingredients, how will you know what not to add when cooking for a big dinner at home?
It’s time we show mistakes the respect they deserve. Here’s one tiny habit to help you do so. ⬇️
My mistakes diary
Maintain a small notebook. Call it your mistakes diary. Before you end the day, write these three things:
One mistake I made today…
I learned that…
I’m never going to make the same mistake again because…
This simple practice can turn your mistakes into good mistakes and turn you into a connoisseur of mistakes.
In his book Intuition Pumps And Other Tools for Thinking, author Daniel Dennett presents self-reflection as one of the most effective tools for critical thinking.
“The chief trick to making good mistakes is not to hide them—especially not from yourself. Instead of turning away in denial when you make a mistake, you should become a connoisseur of your own mistakes, turning them over in your mind as if they were works of art, which, in a way they are.”
— Daniel Dennett
Since I started writing in my mistakes diary, I have seen three big changes in my life.
First, I now own up to a mistake as soon as I make one. Knowing it’s going to be recorded in my diary at the end of the day actually motivates me. Instead of dreading mistakes, I weirdly find myself thinking, “There’s today’s entry for my mistakes diary!” It’s oddly satisfying to acknowledge my slip-ups. 😅
Second, it has made me self-accountable. When things go wrong in my life, I recognize it’s due to my own mistakes. It’s not fate or someone else’s fault. It’s my responsibility, and only I can fix it.
Finally, becoming a connoisseur of mistakes has made me more forgiving of others. I now see each mistake as a learning opportunity, not just for myself but for everyone.
So go ahead, start a mistakes diary. Let’s become connoisseurs of our mistakes and lifelong learners.
Maybe we can add on to the old saying:
To err is human. To own it, a true learner.