Expectations to reality—The Pygmalion Effect

Are expectations holding you back, or are they quietly pushing you forward? And whose expectations are we talking about? I recently came across a fascinating psychological phenomenon called the Pygmalion Effect. It’s about how people perform better or worse when they are expected to do so. How can we benefit from it? Let’s find out.

In an interesting Harvard study, researchers found that students performed better when their teachers had higher expectations of them. The students didn’t even know about these expectations—it was all about the teachers’ belief in their potential.

This concept isn’t confined to classrooms. It influences our workplaces, homes, friendships, and even personal goals.

What is a “Pygmalion” anyway?

First, a bit of mythology.

The name “Pygmalion” comes from a Greek myth. Pygmalion was a sculptor who created a statue that was so beautiful that he fell in love with it. He treated the statue like a living person, showering it with love and devotion. Inspired by his belief, the goddess Aphrodite brought the statue to life.

When you treat someone—or even yourself—as though they are capable of greatness, that belief has the power to transform.

It’s no magic of course. It is science. Expectations affect behavior. Behavior affects effort. And effort leads to results.

Expectations → behavior → effort → result

Let’s see how this affects various walks of life.

In leadership

A manager who trusts their team’s abilities delegates important tasks, offers mentorship, and inspires confidence. This belief often pushes the team to exceed expectations.

Contrast this with a manager who doubts their team, micromanages, and expects failure. The team underperforms, not because they lack potential, but because they’ve internalized those low expectations.

At school

In classrooms, teachers who believe in their students create an environment where growth becomes inevitable. A teacher who says, “I know you can handle this, take your time,” empowers their students to rise to the challenge.

When a teacher dismisses someone as “not Math material,” the student is more likely to give up.

In parenting

Parents who hold high expectations for their children help build confidence and resilience. A child who hears, “You can achieve anything you set your mind to,” learns to embrace challenges.

On the flip side, low expectations can lead to limiting beliefs, making kids second-guess their abilities or settle for less than they’re capable of.

In fitness

Imagine joining a fitness group where everyone is training for a marathon. They assume you’ll participate too, nudging you to train harder and accomplish what once felt impossible.

Now imagine a social circle that mocks your healthy habits or dismisses exercise as unnecessary. It’s easy to fall into the same patterns, skipping workouts and making choices that don’t align with your goals.

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If people around us shape our lives, this brings us to the million dollar question:

Are you spending time with people who want to see you succeed?

Surround yourself with those who push you to be better and expect you to achieve greatness. Their belief in you can inspire you to set higher standards for yourself.

At the same time, examine your expectations of others. When you assume someone is capable of growth, your confidence in them can spark their own belief and effort.

Limiting beliefs and self-expectations

It’s not just about what others expect of us. It’s also about what we expect of ourselves.

Limiting beliefs can create a self-fulfilling cycle of underperformance. If you think, “I’m not good at public speaking,” you’re likely to avoid opportunities to speak, reinforcing the belief.

The reverse is also true: empowering beliefs can drive you to succeed in ways you never imagined. If you tell yourself, “I’m learning to be a better speaker,” you’re more likely to take small steps forward, like volunteering to give a presentation.

Expectations can push us forward or hold us back. Recognizing their power is the first step to using them wisely.

Question the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself—they’re often just a story you’ve told yourself too many times.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
— Henry Ford