Facing your fears: A fear-setting exercise
I live by the ‘Don’t fix what isn’t broken’ philosophy, and it's served me well most of the time. However, there's a point where I've been known to take it a step further: 'Don't fix what's broken; it might just fix itself.' 🙈 That's when things tend to go south, especially when it comes to addressing our fears. I'm not talking about fearing a cockroach or something trivial here. I mean facing the fears that can truly transform your life—like quitting the job you hate, asking that special someone out on a date, ending a toxic relationship, reaching out to a mentor in your industry, or starting a business.
Instead of portraying an overly optimistic scenario where everything miraculously falls into place without effort, it's smarter to confront our fears head-on.
The stakes are high
A single decision can dramatically alter the course of your life. Overcoming the fear that's holding you back significantly increases your chances of steering that change in a positive direction.
When fear becomes the barrier to making a significant life decision, it's time to face it.
The stakes are undeniably high. It's not uncommon for people to experience 6-10 depressive episodes in their lives, often triggered by something they feared during those moments.
If you're a student, it might be the fear of failing an exam and losing a year.
If you're a manager, it could cost you a valuable employee.
If you're an employee, it might hinder your chances of a promotion.
If you're in a relationship, it could jeopardize the entire bond.
We must learn to navigate these high-stress environments because they're an inevitable part of life. There's no escaping them.
It's crucial to distinguish between what we can control and what's beyond our control.
If you're one of those remarkable individuals who can conquer their fears simply by thinking about them, that's fantastic! However, most of us need to confront our fears more directly, and what better way to do that than by putting them into words.
Why write your fears?
Writing down your goals and positive aspects of life is one thing, but why bother jotting down your fears? Some might wonder if this practice makes things worse—if it unearths hidden demons of the mind, or if it leads you into dark emotional valleys.
In reality, writing isn't solely about boosting positivity; it's also about diminishing negativity. Writing helps us think more clearly.
The initial thoughts you write down might be filled with apprehension, but as you continue, one of two things usually happens. Either your thoughts naturally transform into more positive and hopeful ones, or they remain negative, but when you finish and reread them, you realize how unfounded or irrational your fears are.
“Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That’s why it’s so hard.”
— David McCullough
Fear-Setting Exercise
Tim Ferriss introduced his renowned Fear-Setting exercise, and it's a game-changer. Here's a link to his worksheet, which comprises the following sections:
Define your fear
1. What is it that you truly fear? For example, asking your boss for a raise.
2. What's the worst that could happen if you face this fear head-on? Perhaps your boss says no, or others find out about your request and its rejection.
Prevent your fear
What steps can you take to prevent each of these negative outcomes?
Repair the damage
If the worst-case scenario unfolds, how can you rectify the situation?
Potential benefits of action
What are the potential benefits of taking the action you fear? List the benefits of even partial success.
Consequences of inaction
If you opt not to confront the fear that's holding you back, what will your life look like in 6 months, 1 year, or 3 years? Consider how it might impact you emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially.
Dealing with your fears is often the first step to unlocking your full potential and living a more fulfilling life. It's like what Victor Kiam once wisely noted, "Procrastination is opportunity's assassin."
So, take a moment to reflect: What fantastic opportunities could be waiting for you on the other side of fear?