How confident people think?
3 Myths about how confident people think, self talk magic, and mind boosters of the week.
I came across a quote that I haven’t been able to get out of my mind: “More dreams die of lack of confidence than lack of competence.” Given the same level of competence, a person with more confidence is more likely to succeed. How do confident people think differently than others? That’s what today’s edition is about. Also, don’t miss today’s Mind Boosters, which include a special journaling template for days when your confidence is running low, a kitchen buy to boost your family’s protein intake, and a simple variation of breath to help you when you’re exercising versus when you’re feeling lethargic. Enjoy the read!
P.S.: If you like what you read, please share it with one friend and spread the inspiration. It would mean a lot to me. ❤️
I used to think confidence is a result of competence, until I came across the above quote while reading Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish. The idea that lack of confidence can persist despite competence is troubling.
What if your children were held back not by their abilities, but by their lack of confidence?
What if your team members, despite their skills, couldn’t reach their full potential because they didn’t believe in themselves?
As a parent or teacher, you want to ensure that children are both confident and competent. As a boss, you want your team members to thrive without being held back by a lack of confidence.
Let’s debunk three myths around how confident people think.
Myth #1 — They love being right
Who doesn’t? 😉 The point being they don’t love it more than others.
Truth — They have no problem being wrong. They focus on what’s right instead of who’s right.
The following story from the same book drives the point home:
A woman once approached the author with a dilemma. She was a candidate for her company’s CEO position. The company was facing a major problem. Her solution to that problem was complex and risky. Her rival’s idea was simpler, cheaper, and safer.
She wanted to defend her complex solution, reluctant to admit it wasn’t the best. She thought she’d come across as less competent if her rival’s idea won.
The author shared his experience: in business, it’s not about who’s right, but what’s right. The best outcomes come when ego is set aside.
He asked her, “If you owned this company 100% and couldn’t sell it for 100 years, which solution would you prefer?” After a pause, she knew the answer.
Months later, she called him excitedly. She got the CEO job. Supporting her rival’s solution showed the board she could prioritize the company’s best interests, making her the right choice.
How confident people think? 🤔 — May the best idea win.
Myth #2 — They don’t change their mind easily.
Truth — They quickly adapt to change.
Confident people are more open to change than others. They don’t feel the urge to defend their ideas.
These days, my family and I are watching a medical drama series. A brilliant doctor heads a team of doctors to diagnose diseases that no one else can. In spite of his exceptional diagnostic skills, he relies on his team. He’s quick to change his mind as soon as they come up with opposing ideas that fit the symptoms better.
He goes one step further. He accepts their ideas with an open mind and tries to improve on them.
How confident people think? 🤔 — That’s so much better! Can I make it even better?
Myth #3 — They figure out everything by themselves.
Truth — The most confident people don’t hesitate to ask for help when they feel stuck.
Imagine what happens when an entrepreneur hits a roadblock with her startup’s growth. Instead of struggling alone, a confident person will reach out to her network for advice. This willingness to seek help can lead to new strategies that can propell the business forward.
How confident people think? 🤔 — I need their help because they know better.
Self talk
How you talk to yourself can boost or lower your confidence.
Most people are harsher on themselves than on others. If you make a mistake at work, your inner voice might say, “You’re so stupid! What were you thinking?” But if a friend made the same mistake, you’d be supportive and help them find a solution.
Being kinder to yourself in tough situations boosts confidence. Another way is to remind yourself of past challenges you’ve overcome as the following quote from the same book suggests.
“Talking to yourself about the toughest times you had and how you overcame them gives you the confidence to face future hardships.”
Another question that we need to ask ourselves when we aren’t feeling confident is:
What are you denying right now?
Everyone denies something at times. We avoid facts because accepting them is hard. For example, not getting a promotion might actually be due to underperformance, not office politics. Poor exam results might be due to lack of effort, not a tough paper.
Facing our denials helps us remove hurdles on our path to success. It’s like clearing the fog on a road—you can finally see the way forward clearly.
Mind Boosters
🍧 😋 Greek yogurt maker
It’s one of the best investments in our kitchen collection. It helps us always have a supply of homemade greek yogurt without any additives and thickeners found in store-bought yogurt. It’s a rich source of protein, especially if you’re a vegetarian like me. Here’s the Amazon link if you’d like to check it out. I’m not affiliated.
😮💨 😮💨 Breathing for exercising vs lethargy
If your heart is racing like while exercising, try making your exhales longer or more intense than your inhales.
If you’re feeling low on energy, lethargic, or exhausted, you need more oxygen—make your inhales longer than your exhales.
✍️ 😇 Journaling template
Here’s a journaling template for the days when your confidence is running low:
Think of the 3-5 situations in the past when it felt like it’s the toughest time ever but you pulled through.
Examples:
You failed a test or struggled through a tough class, but persevering and succeeding in the end.
You were fired from your job. Life felt tough but you stayed strong and found better opportunities.
You got dumped but reset your life and found joy again.
What Are the Qualities That Helped You?
Examples:
Determination: You don’t give up easily.
Perseverance: You like to see things through.
Resilience: You don’t quit just because it’s tough.
Wisdom: You know when to quit if victory is just about satisfying your ego.
What Are You Denying Right Now?
Everyone denies certain truths at times. Facing these denials helps clear the path to success. For example:
Career: Maybe you didn't get that promotion because your performance wasn't up to par, not because of office politics.
Education: Perhaps your poor exam results were due to lack of effort, not because the test was too hard.
Personal Life: You might be in a job with no future, but are you ready to admit it and make a change?
You’ve overcome tough times before, and you have the resilience and strength to do it again. You’re well-equipped to handle whatever comes your way. 🙌
loved this one.