Raising your standards

Jul 25, 2024

I ran a 5k in the wee hours yesterday morning. 🏃🏻‍♀️🌄 The interesting bit is that I ran it in under 30 mins. It's not a brag-worthy pace, but it made me proud after months of stagnant performance. For months now, my running has been in "maintenance" mode. My Garmin would jump from Unproductive to Maintaining at best. My Runkeeper app kept showing my 56th fastest run, 30th fastest run, 28th fastest run, never reaching single digits. It was becoming quite disheartening. My personal best 10k is 59 mins, that too during a full marathon. My personal best 5k is 29 mins. Once you set your standards, it sucks to underperform. And that’s why yesterday's run was a relief. I felt like Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator with an "I'm back" imprinted on my mind. Today's post is about setting your standards and using them as a means to self-growth. Enjoy the read! If you do, please share it with one friend. It'd mean the world to me ❤️

The first time I truly grasped the concept of raising your standards was from a Tony Robbins talk. What struck me most was this—if you’re not progressing, you’re on a downfall; there’s no middle ground. If you’re not raising your fitness standards, you’re becoming unfit. If you’re not raising your financial standards, you’re becoming poorer. If you’re not raising your relationship standards, your connection with your partner is deteriorating.

“Getting things is not going to make you happy...doesn’t matter what you get, doesn’t matter whether it be money or opportunities. All those things might excite you for the moment…even a relationship as magnificent as it may be might be exciting for a while, but if you don’t keep growing, that relationship isn’t going to stay exciting.”
— Tony Robbins

It was an eye-opener because there's so much in our lives we take for granted.

I have a good physique, so I assume it will stay that way. I have a well-paying job, so my finances are sorted. I have a loving relationship with my partner, so it will stay that way...there's nothing I need to do to make it better. And that's where we are mistaken.

Maintenance mode is a myth

When we think we are maintaining our health, wealth, or relationships, we tend to "do nothing" about that area. Good enough becomes a comfort zone. In reality, if we don't grow, we deteriorate.

e.g.:

Think of an athlete who stops training rigorously. Their performance inevitably declines.
Consider a couple who stops making an effort in their relationship. The bond weakens over time.
Reflect on an employee who stops learning new skills. Their career stagnates.

This begs the question: which all areas of life are we supposed to raise our standards?

Short answer: everything. Your fitness, finances, relationships. At the end of the day/life, it comes down to ⬇️

How you do one thing is how you do everything

It frustrates me to see people setting low standards for themselves. They're capable, but they choose not to aim higher. I'm guilty of this myself. My husband is an expert sourdough bread baker. When I started learning from him and baking, my results were "meh". The bread coming out of the oven was edible. I'd feel proud of the mediocre results, but my husband would cold-heartedly rate it a 5 out of 10. 👎 It was annoying because I was living with a "it's good enough" mindset.

Eventually, I learned to accept the critical feedback graciously. I practiced and practiced for years and raised my standards. Now I know what good sourdough bread looks like. So when I see others baking dense bread and being proud of it, it’s frustrating. Not because they didn’t get a good result. It’s frustrating that they are okay with an average result.

I can now understand what my husband was feeling when he'd give me harsh feedback. When you know there’s so much more to it, it’s difficult to pretend it’s great and fake praise. It's good for neither the teacher nor the student.

It’s not just about cooking or fitness or work. It's a characteristic of people with high standards. They put their best into learning a new skill until they reach high standards.

“That” person with high standards

It's human to compare your standards with others. My friend bought this big SUV; I should too. They bought a big house; we should get a bigger one.

If everyone around you is raising their standards, shouldn't you too?

It's true that you can't really ignore the outer world because, eventually, it impacts your inner world. If you don’t keep raising your finances, inflation will outpace you. If you don’t upgrade your skills, you’ll fall behind in your career. The outer world and everyone in it are raising their standards as well. It’s the Red Queen Effect. If you're not working double hard, you'll fall behind.

It shouldn't be a frantic rush to chase the latest standards set by others. It’s about competing with your own past self. If you’re a writer, you want to be a better writer than you were 5 years back. If you’re a runner, you need to become faster.

When you want to compare standards, compare with your past self and no one else. Become that person with high standards.

How to raise your standards?

Did you know that your mind has a standard set for your body weight? That is one big reason why people tend to put on weight as soon as they are out of a fitness regimen. The mind sees it as the challenging period is over, and now we can get back to our standard body weight.

Raising your standards is a mind game. You must convince your brain of the new standards. How do you do that?

Give it enough evidence.

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity."
—James Clear

e.g.:

If you want to become a better writer, write daily. Each piece of writing, no matter how small, is a vote for your new identity.
If you want to improve your fitness, work out regularly. Each session adds to the evidence that you are a fit person.
If you want to enhance your relationships, make consistent efforts to connect and communicate. Each positive interaction reinforces your commitment to a strong relationship.

“You don’t always get your goals, but you always get your standards.”
— Tony Robbins

Mind Boosters of the Week

⚡️ 🙌 The talk that started it all

Here’s the talk that opened my eyes on raising standards. It’s an old video but I keep going back to it, every now and then.

😇 ✨ A simple tip on making life simpler

Focus on things that matter most, discard the rest. The latter list is longer than you think, the former is shorter that you think.

The shorter the list, the easier it is to raise our standards.

Until next week 🙌