Second chances

Happiness series, part 4 — Breaking rules and grabbing second chances in life.

Recently, my family and I attended my younger brother’s wedding in the beautiful hills of India. The occasion was special for more than one reason — This was the second time they got married in the past year!

The first time round was during COVID. Our family, scattered over the globe (Singapore, Chicago, LA, and Canada), couldn’t make it.

So it didn’t come as a surprise when the couple called out for a celebration when travel opened up. Everyone assumed it was more of a post-wedding celebration. Time to meet, eat, drink, and party 🍾🥂🕺🏻💃🏻.

But that’s not what the couple had in mind.

They wanted to redo the entire wedding. In case you don’t know, a Hindu wedding is heavily rituals oriented. Imagine a dozen rituals spread out over a couple of days.

The climax of a wedding, the big daddy of all rituals, is called Pheras. The couple circles around a holy fire seven times with a priest enchanting prayers and facilitating wedding vows.

Now the Pheras is supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It’s written so in centuries-old manuscripts. It’s what the priests in the Himalayas swear by. It’s not a bottle of champagne you can crack open every anniversary. No one ever did a redo of their Pheras….until now.

Against all the hard-coded practices and disapproving glances of the elderly in the family, the couple went for it.

They didn’t just want a celebration. They wanted the full flavor of a traditional wedding, the whole shebang. They didn’t want to remember their special day without their loved ones. They wanted their sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandmas to be a part of it. They wanted the blessings of all those who matter.

I’m happy to report that it all turned out beautifully ❤️. Seeing my baby brother get married was as heartwarming as it can get for a big sister. I had tears in my eyes and blessings in my heart. Something the Skype wedding failed to do. I’m sure my sister felt the same way. I’m sure the bride’s sister felt the same way. I’m sure the cousin I met after 20 years felt the same way. I’m pretty sure everyone else there felt the same way!

It’s okay to break the rules for grabbing a second chance in life. It’s worth it.

The elders of the family were so happy to see us happy that they didn’t object. They joined us in the rituals. They joined us in the post-ritual celebrations. They blessed the second-time newlyweds.

Life gives you second chances. It might not serve it to you on a platter, like the first time round. You might need to stretch out lengths to get it. You might need to break the rules. You might need to go against the people you admire. You might even need to create those yourself! But second chances exist. You just need to believe in them.

Don’t beat yourself up if your dream job sucks. There will be a second chance.

Don’t fret if you didn’t get the raise you were expecting. There will be a second chance.

Don’t fret if the scale didn’t show the body weight you were hoping to see. There will be a second chance.

Don’t fret if you didn’t land your dream house yet. There will be a second chance.

Don’t even despair if love failed you. There will be a second chance.

And you’ll be ready to grab it 🙌.