The power of the inner voice
Everything we say to ourselves—whether quietly in our heads or out loud; whether privately or publicly—ultimately lands in our mind as a story.
Why does our mind weave random things we blurt out into a story?
Our brain has evolved to make sense of things. Things that we randomly speak about. Some are facts. Most are loose threads.
To save and access them easily in the future, it’s easier for the brain to weave them into a nice story that makes sense. It doesn’t matter if the information isn’t correct.
These stories make you the kind of person you are. The kind of person you are leads you to your destiny.
Inner voice → Stories we tell ourselves → The kind of person you are (Identity) → Destiny
That's the power of the inner voice. It leads you to your destiny.
Nothing else has more control over your destiny than your inner voice.
How stories shape our identity
The stories we tell ourselves can make or break our identities.
Growing up, my family often joked about my lack of physical strength. I used to make a big deal of little cuts and bruises. I once fainted at the doctor's during a blood test! 😒 I wasn’t into any sports. As a result, I formed an identity in my mind, “I'm a non-sporty person.” I held on to that belief for a long long time.
Years later, in my 30s, I ran my first 10k. I loved it! I was sharing my enthusiasm over the phone with my father. He said something to me that I’ll never forget, “You might not be strongest physically, but your mental strength is limitless.” His words transformed into my inner voice. The following year, I ran a half marathon, and then a full marathon.
My father’s words transformed my inner voice. I broke my old identity and formed a brand new one.
And that brings us to the gravity of stories we tell not just ourselves, but also our kids.
Stories we tell our kids
The way we speak to our kids becomes their inner voice. As parents, we should ensure that our words align with our values and the values we want our children to internalize as they grow up.
We might think they aren't listening but trust me when I say they are always listening. They might pretend otherwise.
“There are some people that get direct access into the command center (child's mind). A father and a mother have direct entry into the sacred space where most of the meaning is created into our storytelling.”
— Dr. Jim Loehr, Performance psychologist and author
As a father if you say to your son, “What's wrong with you? Why are you always so slow?”, you're helping form an identity in your child's mind that they are slow. It doesn't matter that you intend to motivate them.
Your words speak louder than your intent.
Speak to your kids the way you want their inner voice to speak to themselves when they grow up.
Stories we tell ourselves and our kids can be limiting or empowering.
How do you know if our stories are limiting or empowering?
Are your stories limiting or empowering?
Dr. Jim Loehr, a performance psychologist and author suggests these three questions to ask yourself.
Is the story I’m telling myself based on reality or am I making things up? 🤔
Is this story aligned to the best part of me, to the kind of person I want to be? Does it align with my values and my sense of purpose?
Does this story help me stay optimistic for my future? Or does it give me the feeling that I'm not capable?
You can treat these questions as automatic sensors for your mind. The moment you feel your stories are limiting, put them to this test.
Empowering stories are the ones you are proud of. You must be ok even if they were uploaded to your Facebook for the whole world to see proud!
What if they are not?
Let's say you realize that you have been building up limiting stories. Is it possible to edit them?
Editing your stories
Professional athletes are masters of the inner voice, using stories to reach their full potential. Their coaches and performance psychologists constantly experiment with techniques like visualization and motivational therapy.
Surprisingly, the most effective tool they discovered for reshaping their stories was journaling.
Writing harnesses the connection between the brain and the hand muscles, reinforcing our narratives more deeply than other methods.
The journaling technique involves writing down where you are, where you want to go, and affirming your unwavering belief in reaching that destination daily. Even listening to personal voice memos has a similar effect. 🎙️
Reiterating your life mission in writing where failure isn't an option, is a powerful practice.
It’s known to change mindsets from limiting to empowering ones.
Empowering stories help us navigate life more effectively, so take the time to shape your inner voice in ways that lead you toward your goals.
Your destiny is shaped by the stories you tell yourself — make sure they're stories you're proud of. 🙌
Thoughts become things.
Hi Prachi, I really enjoyed this post and these questions about old stories are always lingering on. Thanks for sharing.