A case for and against solitude

The other day, I had to take my daughter to a full-day kayaking class at a venue located at the other end of the city. It didn’t make sense to come back home and then head out again to pick her up, so I decided to stay put.

My first thought was “I'd be wasting an entire day!”

Surprisingly, it turned out to be rather fun. Besides watching her topple over her kayak and learning to get back in it, I found enough time to gaze at the ocean, read a book, and write to my heart's content.

Then it happened again. I had to take my son to a class and had three hours to ‘while away’.

Soon, I realized that I was loving these breaks.

It was a reminder that I needed to plan such moments of solitude.

Why do we get so busy that we have no time for ourselves?

A case against solitude

There are countless excuses we come up with, but the most common ones are as follows:

I'm crazy busy

Sometimes, we can’t help being busy. Students have to finish long assignments, parents are busy working and paying bills, and so on. Other times, we keep inventing new things to do. Our to-do lists are never-ending. We can’t distinguish anymore between what’s important and what’s not.

I don't deserve it

You'd be surprised how tough we are on ourselves when it comes to rewarding ourselves with free time. This is especially true with gig economy workers and employees with moving targets. However hard we work, subconsciously we think it's not enough.

Most times, when we don’t feel worthy of free time, it’s because of an underlying worry.

What if I fail?

We avoid acting on things where we fear we’d fail. Procrastination gets the better of us. The only solution to overcome this state is to recognize what we’re avoiding, face our fears, and take a tiny action toward it.

Once we overcome our underlying fears, it’s time to make time for ourselves.

A case for solitude

First things first, solitude isn't loneliness.

We’re born as social creatures and being lonely is against our very nature. There are times when we feel lonely even in the company of others. Loneliness and solitude, therefore, are more mental states than physical.

Loneliness can be damaging to our mental health, but solitude can be just what we need to recharge our batteries. It helps us accept things that are out of our control and take action on things that we can change.

Time alone also helps with creative thinking and problem-solving. Many brilliant ideas spark after a good run or a swim.

Surprisingly, solitude also helps improve relationships. Who would have thought getting away from people can help bring them closer?! It gives us a chance to self-reflect and value relationships that matter.

How to find the magical moments of solitude?

Well, for some, it's meditation or getting lost in a creative flow. But for the rest of us mere mortals, nature is our best friend. A long walk/run in the woods or by a coast can do wonders for our mental health. Imagine sitting on a log by the ocean, with no one around but the sound of the waves and birds chirping. As you breathe in the fresh air and take in the beauty of nature, your mind becomes clearer, and you feel a sense of calm and relaxation. It's pure bliss 😇.

This state of mind is what helps you recharge and reconnect with yourself.

Even if you don't have the luxury of taking a long walk in nature, you can still find ways to enjoy solitude in your daily life. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes to sit in silence and focus on your breath, or indulging in a hobby that you enjoy, such as painting or reading.

Whatever it is that you choose to do, the important thing is to make time for yourself and embrace solitude. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you will start to appreciate the magical moments of solitude and how they help you become a better version of yourself.

So the next time you have some free time, instead of filling it up with more tasks and activities, try to embrace solitude and 10x your mind ❤️